Team Battle!

[LONGTIME]

So uhhh, what's the word gang?

[Frostbitten]

It appears we might have won by default, LT.

[Ravi]

That sucks,

4th, I have an idea, you send me something and we rock it.

At least let there be some sort of competition >_>

Gogogogog?

[4thseal]

^sure, umm give me a weak?

and to the others who didn't enter...-.-

[Sniper]

um all i need is for sasuke's legacy to finish his part of the leter soo yeah......

[LONGTIME]

^Send yours to Ravi.

gogoooo

[Frostbitten]

Please send it to Ravi. We beg of you.

[Ravi]

Ya, use me as a dumpster people, come onnnn.

Anyone who sends me something is fine.

Just a little more and I might PM random stuff to random profiles just to get something going.

[Frostbitten]

At least you're getting something Ravi.

[4thseal]

Ravi, write the first part, send it to me, i'll have it done within a day, and we'll put the other team to shame xD

[Ravi]

Dear Reader,

You do not know how long it took for me to reach you, how long it took until someone found one of my scattered letters. Don’t worry your little soul about the others though, the only one which matters is this one. Leave them be, they are empty for us. Sometimes the park cleaner comes along, I see him from my window, I see him throwing away all my beautiful letters. My beautiful letters!! I see him from my barred window, his iron lance piercing my every word. They never let me out. Grumbling as he destroys every last bit of my effort, because you see, he never reads them. That’s why I can safely write down that he’ll be first. But you don’t have to worry, my beautiful reader, my lovely reader. They say I’m insane, but they are lying. That’s why I need you, you, my lovely reader. I need you to come up and unlock my room. I shouldn’t be here, I don’t deserve to be here, I haven’t done anything wrong. You see, they framed me, what they say is all lies. All lies, all lies, ALL LIES! If you look up now you'll see that I am right adn they are wrong. If you look up, you'll see me. I'm looking at you read, I yearn for you. Why? because you're the first, you're my first reader. In ten years. Ten long years.

It all started when my wife died, and my beloved child. It wasn't my fault, don't believe them. They're liars. I would never do that, I never did. Don't you see? Do you realize the injustice which happened to me?! They framed me. That’s why I need you. I need you so much reader, so much.. I can see you reader, do you see me? Together reader, together we can straighten out the injustice. All you have to do is, come up to my room. Come up to my room, reader and turn the key for me. Can you do that for me? That’s all I ask of you. I’ll take care of the rest. I promise, leave it all to me,

Dear Writer,

I do not care how long it may or may have not for this letter to reach me. (I suspect that everything out your fingers’ vile mouths is nothing but lies.) I do not care. My ‘little soul,’ as you so eloquently put it, does not worry about that matter; trust me good sir or madam, my ‘little soul’ merely scoffs and grins with delight reflecting up this letter, which lays before me crumpled like a wasted sun, unused, unneeded – simply put, you worry too much writer – your readers expectations are not as grand as you’d like them to be. Your letters; sadly, belong where they are – in the city trash, like you, locked in your room – isolated from society.

Your beautiful letters? Oh please, what beauty is to be found in words, no less discarded words which you, yourself could not bare to keep in sight? You do yourself far too much justice, my friend. You, so concentrated on the destruction of your letters, can not see how you are as blind as the sun, you cover yourself with such false light, which never warms that you fail to see the night and the moon; how such dark things can provide much more warmth than the ‘beauty’ you so desperately seek in your letters. Lies? The only lies I hear are the ones that come from your green finger tips. You have framed yourself, cast the shadow of doubt down the window, hopping with hungry pride that one of your precious letters (traps) will fall on the head of some helpless victim! I will not be fooled!

Come up to your room? I’d rather not! Nay, I’d rather fall into the arms of some greedy loaf-lover, you smother me with oily skin. Climb into your window from which these pitifully letters escaped – never. I’d much rather simply leave it all up to me. And, it is my sincere hope that the rock to which this letter was attached and crashed through your translucent windows – bashed your head right in, my silly, meaningless friend.

Here's 4th's and my letter! Guess it's time to ge tit on like Diddy-Kong?

[4thseal]

So....now we need some judging! Please...



Entries:

Originally Posted by LONGTIME

My team is finished. Just waiting on seeing what my partner thinks.

Edit: Finished!!

My dearest Julia,

First, I want to apologize for not writing you for the past six months, but this is the first time I’ve had to write you. And all that time it has pained me not being able to write to you.

The army has sent me on a campaign to a far away land as you might know. I wish I could tell you where but alas I can not. But be sure that the boys and I are fighting the good fight. However that still doesn’t mean the fights were easy. In fact, each fight is more brutal than the previous one. These guys are truly as tough as portrayed, however we have been winning regardless. I have lost count of how many fights we have been in, and that might be for the best; especially since we lost Tom to the fighting several months back. That day was still so painful to remember.

That aside, the unit I’m in has been fighting so hard and for so long that we were given a few days to relax and shop at a village that we liberated a few weeks earlier. That’s the reason I’m able to write to you now. As I write I’m shopping at the local fruit market, and they certainly have some tasty fruits here. They even have this weird looking one that tastes great. When we’re done with this war, I’ll have to bring back some of this fruit and see if you can find any uses for it in your cooking. I also found some nice souvenirs that you may or may not find lovely. Once again I’ll have to bring them back with me when I’m done here.

Anyway how is Tim doing in school? I haven’t received any letters from my little brother in so long. My mom and dad haven’t sent me anything either. I hope nothing happened back there. I haven’t been able to see the News in the longest time and this village has no TVs either. It’s almost as if the higher ups are blocking news from home. As much as this disturbing, I’m also sure that they have good reason. Though I’m also sure that nothing has happened, but still it isn’t like them to not send me a letter.

But I digress, how are you doing in Barker? I know you went into the local university there, but have the classes been harsh? Are your parents doing well since you moved out?

I do hope that you are fine in Barker, Julia. How much I long to see you once more. But alas, I am stuck in this war, but it will be worth it once I’m back with you. We will be able to pursue dreams together and fulfill them. This I swear. No matter what pain I feel, no matter what obstacles may come, and no matter what things have changed; I will be back for you. Just keep one thing in mind, never give up hope.

Forever yours,
Jonathan

-------------------------------------

Jonathan, my love,

It's great to hear from you! I've spent many a restless night wondering if you were well. I'm relieved to hear that you are well. Perhaps now I will be able to get some sleep. No need to apologize, your words are more than enough.

It's dreadful to hear about poor Tom. His parents received word a while back, it was terrible. I thought the worst had fallen upon you as well! When there was no word on your well being, my fear began to subside after a while. Tom's poor parents, I've never seen someone so shook up. I wonder if I looked like that too?

As for the men you are fighting, please don't hate them. I'm sure they have parents and siblings and women waiting at home for them too. War is such a terrible thing...

There is some good news though! My sister is engaged to that young politician from up state. He was just elected to the State Senate. The wedding is going to be in the spring. I pray that you will be back here by then. I would want nothing more than to be by your side then.

Your little brother is doing marvelously. He graduated top of his class this year. He says he's going to study engineering. I was hopin

(The letter stops here. The next portion is in a different handwriting.)

Jon,

I have terrible news for you brother. Late last month there were bombings across our nation. It would seem that a group has risen up to try and seize power with our fighting men away. The sick despots destroyed the old capital building here in town. Did you know there was an installation underground here? Apparently it was for researching new weapons.

The group claims to be fighting for the people. I don't believe that. If they had then why did they do this. This, terrible thing, I don't really know how to put it. The facility here was housing some kind of biological agent. I was away looking at schools with father. Mother and Julia were both caught in the clouds of the agent. They didn't survive, I'm sorry.

I want to find out more. A friend of mine from school claims he knows members of the group. I plan on meeting with them and trying to gain entry. I have to find out why brother. Why our dear mother and Julia had to die! I hope I can contain myself long enough to find out the details. Hopefully I can make a difference.

I know this a lot to take in, but you had to know. I don't know if I will ever see you again. I wish you were here. With you I know we would be able to put a stop to this.

If possible, I will contact you again. Enclosed is the mailing address where father is staying. He's not doing so well, please write him. When you return then I hope this will all be over. If not, then I know I can count on you.

Godspeed,
Tim

Originally Posted by ANYTIME

Dear Reader,

You do not know how long it took for me to reach you, how long it took until someone found one of my scattered letters. Don’t worry your little soul about the others though, the only one which matters is this one. Leave them be, they are empty for us. Sometimes the park cleaner comes along, I see him from my window, I see him throwing away all my beautiful letters. My beautiful letters!! I see him from my barred window, his iron lance piercing my every word. They never let me out. Grumbling as he destroys every last bit of my effort, because you see, he never reads them. That’s why I can safely write down that he’ll be first. But you don’t have to worry, my beautiful reader, my lovely reader. They say I’m insane, but they are lying. That’s why I need you, you, my lovely reader. I need you to come up and unlock my room. I shouldn’t be here, I don’t deserve to be here, I haven’t done anything wrong. You see, they framed me, what they say is all lies. All lies, all lies, ALL LIES! If you look up now you'll see that I am right adn they are wrong. If you look up, you'll see me. I'm looking at you read, I yearn for you. Why? because you're the first, you're my first reader. In ten years. Ten long years.

It all started when my wife died, and my beloved child. It wasn't my fault, don't believe them. They're liars. I would never do that, I never did. Don't you see? Do you realize the injustice which happened to me?! They framed me. That’s why I need you. I need you so much reader, so much.. I can see you reader, do you see me? Together reader, together we can straighten out the injustice. All you have to do is, come up to my room. Come up to my room, reader and turn the key for me. Can you do that for me? That’s all I ask of you. I’ll take care of the rest. I promise, leave it all to me,

Dear Writer,

I do not care how long it may or may have not for this letter to reach me. (I suspect that everything out your fingers’ vile mouths is nothing but lies.) I do not care. My ‘little soul,’ as you so eloquently put it, does not worry about that matter; trust me good sir or madam, my ‘little soul’ merely scoffs and grins with delight reflecting up this letter, which lays before me crumpled like a wasted sun, unused, unneeded – simply put, you worry too much writer – your readers expectations are not as grand as you’d like them to be. Your letters; sadly, belong where they are – in the city trash, like you, locked in your room – isolated from society.

Your beautiful letters? Oh please, what beauty is to be found in words, no less discarded words which you, yourself could not bare to keep in sight? You do yourself far too much justice, my friend. You, so concentrated on the destruction of your letters, can not see how you are as blind as the sun, you cover yourself with such false light, which never warms that you fail to see the night and the moon; how such dark things can provide much more warmth than the ‘beauty’ you so desperately seek in your letters. Lies? The only lies I hear are the ones that come from your green finger tips. You have framed yourself, cast the shadow of doubt down the window, hopping with hungry pride that one of your precious letters (traps) will fall on the head of some helpless victim! I will not be fooled!

Come up to your room? I’d rather not! Nay, I’d rather fall into the arms of some greedy loaf-lover, you smother me with oily skin. Climb into your window from which these pitifully letters escaped – never. I’d much rather simply leave it all up to me. And, it is my sincere hope that the rock to which this letter was attached and crashed through your translucent windows – bashed your head right in, my silly, meaningless friend.

Here's 4th's and my letter! Guess it's time to ge tit on like Diddy-Kong?

[batman555]

1. 4th x ravi - The feeling of desperation by the writer and the cold brush-off by the reader was quite convincing. 3 points

2. frostbite x LT - The midway cutoff of the response letter was unexpected and provided an interesting twist. Good job incorporating the elements of war in this. 2 points

[waqo]

1st: Ravitime and 4th: I loved the initial piece, then entrapment was very well envisaged. The reply was excellent I could just hear the proverbial slap across the writer's face echo through his prison as those words met his eyes, made me wonder. Well done guys

3 pts

2nd: LT and frost: Great effort, again of the two the first letter was very good, I liked the originality with the second letter having 2 authors. Although the styles of the two different writers were contrasting (and well done in that respect) perhaps doing that took away from the overall feel of the story for me. Very close call between the two though, good effort.

2 pts

[Drak]

3 pts: ravi and 4th: This story stood out to me the most because of the content and personalities of the characters. I like how the emotions/personalities were portrayed - the ill and feverish writer and the witty careless reader. The theme of the story seemed to have more vivacity and depth.

2 pts: LongTime and frostbitex: The atmosphere was admirable with an air of sophistication and calm tone. Because of the war theme, I anticipated that there would be a death occurrence some point in the letter. I think that if the characters were fleshed out and given more personality, it could be better.

Overall, I think that this team contest was a great idea. I was looking forward to reading the entries. It was unfortunate of the long delay and how some members could not participate when they signed up. Though, it is understandable that people can be busy with their own matters. The participants all did a good job working together. It's nice seeing how two different pieces can intertwine into one effective piece.

--Drak

[sarah042]

Two great entries!

4th and Ravi - it flowed, the sophistication of letter was apparent from the onset, the feverish mind of the writer, and the loathing of the reader was excellently conveyed. (3 pts)

frostbite and LT - to write from the perspective of a soldier especially in war time is an emotional task and to blend it with a response from a loved one is equally difficult. It was very creative to bring in another writer, overall nice entry. (2 pts)

[4thseal]

So, me and ravi win. Thank you , LT and Frostbit, you guys really did well imo, and i liked your letter alot! And, thank you to all who judged, it realyl means a lot.

I'd also like to say to those lurking this section, don't hesitate to start your own battle thread, they really are good ways to devlope writing skills and have some fun ^^.

[Ravi]

I was especially a fan of the judging, you guys gave some well-founding critique there.

Thank you all.

And I liked your piece as well, Frosty and LT ^_^, you guys were good competition.

And 4thy, this calls for another explosive High-Five!

YEAHHHHHHHHH!

[Martzu]

Too bad that when finally I had good moment to read these competition is over. But I don't let that stop me. I really liked both letterpairs and in away I am glad I am not giving real points now.

frostbite and LT - There was something about Jonathan and Julia that really touched me. And when Tim finished Julia's letter, that was awesome move. Closing up the correspondence and yet leaving something open for the future. This letter pair was something you could expect to see for real too. Great work ^^

For me this pair of letters was the better one.

4th and ravi - This was cool letter pair, really well written and thorough, and yet it left me cold. It is clear and tell