Joke of the day

Victory21 · 05-06-2008, 03:13 AM

The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church.

One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing.

He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church.

During mass, he asked his congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?' All the men stood up.

'No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up.

'No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?' Half the women stood up !

'No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is,
has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up!

PS: I hope no one finds it offensive.
---------------------------------------------------------------

I also found this one humorous

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!

Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said...you got male!

pschy_leprae · 05-06-2008, 08:24 AM

I. Get an altar boy
II. Get two priests
III Throw boy to the priests
IV Watch them fight to the death

Mossarelli · 05-06-2008, 11:09 AM

It's cruel to laugh at sexy priest jokes like this one but I do it anyway.

The second one is a rofl warning.

DraqoGhosts · 05-06-2008, 04:16 PM

Both jokes were great xD I rofled at both of them

mani_123 · 13-06-2008, 11:06 PM

hahah ...da 1st one's hilarious

Emalthya · 15-06-2008, 03:15 AM

*giggle to the max*

pukanina*.* · 22-06-2008, 07:13 PM

i like both of them, but the first one is better

Silent-Ichigo · 22-06-2008, 10:13 PM

Both are hilarious. First one is the best.

Jasper20 · 23-06-2008, 05:17 PM

I like the second one more. I dont really understand the last past of the 1st one maybe due to my poor english.

zack_strife · 23-06-2008, 05:54 PM

brilliant first one, i've never heard it before but my friend told me the nd a while ago. 1st was hilarious

Victory21 · 06-07-2008, 10:49 PM

Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues:

"Hello?"

"Honey, It's me."

"Sugar!"

"Are you at the club?"

"Yes."

"Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?"

"What's the price?"

"Only $1,500."

"Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much."

"Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..."

"What price did he quote you?"

"Only $60,000!"

"Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options."

"Great! Before we hang up, something else..."

"What?"

"It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property..."

"How much are they asking?"

"Only $650,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..."

"Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $620,000, OK?"

"Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!"
"Bye."

The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?"

Shahab590 · 07-07-2008, 12:16 AM

Quote:

a little Pop-Up appeared that said...you got male!

LMAO!

Shahab590 · 07-07-2008, 12:20 AM

the latest one is good to but a long read, it still fantastic!!!

Victory21 · 07-07-2008, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shahab590

the latest one is good to but a long read, it still fantastic!!!

Lol yeah. Also use the edit feature next time. So that you don't have to post twice in a row.

TurtlesRock · 08-07-2008, 06:32 PM

rofl. just awesome guys

especially the last one 8D

contanimus · 13-07-2008, 09:45 PM

ok I got 2 jokes first one please dont think im being discriminant cos im dyslexic adn the second one i hope i dont offend anyone

Firs one :

A dyslexic man walks into a bra

Second one:

Bill and Ben the flower potmen were in bed together. Bill said "FLOB-A-DOB-A-DOB" and ben said "if you loved me, you'd swallow it"

heres summat to think about aswell

uoy attuo ssip eht gnikat si rekcuf trams emos taht esilaer uoy tniop siht ta sti.

Confused? try reading backwards

The stig · 14-07-2008, 12:36 AM

Quote:

uoy attuo ssip eht gnikat si rekcuf trams emos taht esilaer uoy tniop siht ta sti.

LMFAO.

Now that's good.

HITMAN OF KONOHA · 14-07-2008, 04:09 AM

all the jokes were great.

deccrix · 14-07-2008, 07:44 AM

A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at
work.
Unbeknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet.
Her husband Came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the
closet. The boy now has company.

Boy: "Dark in here"
Man: "Yes it is"
Boy: "I have a baseball"
Man: "That's nice"
Boy: "Want to buy it?"
Man: "No thanks"
Boy: "My dad's outside"
Man: "OK, how much?"
Boy: "$250

In the next few weeks it happens again and the boy & mum's lover are
in the closet together.

Boy: "Dark in here"
Man: "Yes it is"
Boy: "I have a baseball glove"
Man: "How much?"
Boy: "$750"
Man: "Fine"

A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's
go outside and toss the baseball."

The boy says "I can't I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you
sell them for?" The son says "$1000" the father says "That's terrible
to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two
things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the
little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door.

The boy says "Dark in here."
The priest says "Don't start that shit again."

Victory21 · 14-07-2008, 12:21 PM

. That was a good one. I didn't expect it to be the priest.

05-06-2008, 03:13 AM	#1
Victory21 ANBU Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Soul society Posts: 1,682 My Mood: Rep Power: 6	Joke of the day The priest in a small Irish village loved his chickens that he kept in the coop behind the church. One Sunday morning before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about the cock fights in the village, so he decided to question his parishioners in church. During mass, he asked his congregation, 'Has anybody got a cock?' All the men stood up. 'No, no, that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?' All the women stood up. 'No, no, that wasn't what I meant either. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?' Half the women stood up ! 'No, no, no, that wasn't what I meant. What I really really mean is, has anybody seen MY cock?' Sixteen altar boys, two priests and a goat stood up! PS: I hope no one finds it offensive. --------------------------------------------------------------- I also found this one humorous A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?' The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said...you got male! __________________ Name: Pluto Rikudou Zanjutsu: 130 Hohou: 125 Kidou: 110 Hakuda: 70 Reiatsu Orb Reiatsu Sword Reiatsu Shield Reiatsu Armor Binding art kidou 1 Binding Art 21: Raiden's Trap Destructive art 4: White Lightning Destructive art 20: Reeling touch Destructive Art 30: Marikodos Chaos Rain *Destructive Art 33:* Blue Fire, Crash Down Multi-strike technique http://www.narutomania.com/forums/so...ml#post2795212 Join the Soul Society role play section pwease I guarantee you'll like it . Last edited by Victory21; 05-06-2008 at 03:17 AM.

05-06-2008, 08:24 AM	#2
pschy_leprae Medical-nin Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: sleep deprived land :( Posts: 550 My Mood: Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day I. Get an altar boy II. Get two priests III Throw boy to the priests IV Watch them fight to the death __________________ "never underestimate power of human stupidity" "you are an inspiration for birth control " my roommate

05-06-2008, 11:09 AM	#3
Mossarelli ANBU Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: The country shaped like a p**** Posts: 1,266 My Mood: Rep Power: 9	Re: Joke of the day It's cruel to laugh at sexy priest jokes like this one but I do it anyway. The second one is a rofl warning. __________________ My anime list

05-06-2008, 04:16 PM	#4
DraqoGhosts Academy Student Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 1 Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day Both jokes were great xD I rofled at both of them

13-06-2008, 11:06 PM	#5
mani_123 Academy Student Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 12 Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day hahah ...da 1st one's hilarious

15-06-2008, 03:15 AM	#6
Emalthya Genin Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: In a mystical place no-one has ever heard of. Yes even in my own state. Posts: 27 Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day giggle to the max __________________ Add me on Gaia- Emalthya is my name there too

22-06-2008, 07:13 PM	#7
pukanina. Academy Student Join Date: Jun 2008 Location: somewhere Posts: 26 My Mood: Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day i like both of them, but the first one is better

22-06-2008, 10:13 PM	#8
Silent-Ichigo Academy Student Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 11 Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day Both are hilarious. First one is the best.

23-06-2008, 05:17 PM	#9
Jasper20 Genin Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 50 Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day I like the second one more. I dont really understand the last past of the 1st one maybe due to my poor english.

23-06-2008, 05:54 PM	#10
zack_strife ANBU Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Belfast, UK Posts: 1,538 My Mood: Rep Power: 5	Re: Joke of the day brilliant first one, i've never heard it before but my friend told me the nd a while ago. 1st was hilarious __________________

06-07-2008, 10:49 PM	#11
Victory21 ANBU Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Soul society Posts: 1,682 My Mood: Rep Power: 6	Re: Joke of the day Several men are in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly a cell phone on one of the benches rings. A man picks it up and the following conversation ensues: "Hello?" "Honey, It's me." "Sugar!" "Are you at the club?" "Yes." "Great! I'm at the mall 2 blocks from where you are. I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500." "Well, okay, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much." "Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2002 models. I saw one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a really good price...and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you?" "Only $60,000!" "Okay, but for that price I want it with all the options." "Great! Before we hang up, something else..." "What?" "It might seem like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and...well, I stopped by to see the real estate agent this morning and I saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale! Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of park area, beach front property..." "How much are they asking?" "Only $650,000... a magnificent price, and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover..." "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $620,000, OK?" "Okay, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later!! I love you!!!" "Bye." The man hangs up, closes the phone's flap and asks aloud, "Does anyone know whose phone this is?" __________________ Name: Pluto Rikudou Zanjutsu: 130 Hohou: 125 Kidou: 110 Hakuda: 70 Reiatsu Orb Reiatsu Sword Reiatsu Shield Reiatsu Armor Binding art kidou 1 Binding Art 21: Raiden's Trap Destructive art 4: White Lightning Destructive art 20: Reeling touch Destructive Art 30: Marikodos Chaos Rain *Destructive Art 33:* Blue Fire, Crash Down Multi-strike technique http://www.narutomania.com/forums/so...ml#post2795212 Join the Soul Society role play section pwease I guarantee you'll like it .

07-07-2008, 12:20 AM	#13
Shahab590 Academy Student Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 3 My Mood: Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day the latest one is good to but a long read, it still fantastic!!!

08-07-2008, 06:32 PM	#15
TurtlesRock Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 0 Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day rofl. just awesome guys especially the last one 8D

13-07-2008, 09:45 PM	#16
contanimus Genin Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: In the scroll of sealing plz let me out ^_^!! Posts: 121 My Mood: Rep Power: 0	Re: Joke of the day ok I got 2 jokes first one please dont think im being discriminant cos im dyslexic adn the second one i hope i dont offend anyone Firs one : A dyslexic man walks into a bra Second one: Bill and Ben the flower potmen were in bed together. Bill said "FLOB-A-DOB-A-DOB" and ben said "if you loved me, you'd swallow it" heres summat to think about aswell uoy attuo ssip eht gnikat si rekcuf trams emos taht esilaer uoy tniop siht ta sti. Confused? try reading backwards __________________ "Maybe all one can do is hope to end up with the right regrets." - Arthur Miller

14-07-2008, 04:09 AM	#18
HITMAN OF KONOHA Medical-nin Join Date: Jun 2005 Location: Orlando, Florida Posts: 597 My Mood: Rep Power: 13	Re: Joke of the day all the jokes were great. __________________ HITMAN OF KONOHA I WILL DO ANY JOB

14-07-2008, 07:44 AM	#19
deccrix ANBU Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: 1334 Posts: 1,277 My Mood: Rep Power: 7	Re: Joke of the day A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Unbeknown to her, her 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband Came home unexpectedly, so she hid her lover in the closet. The boy now has company. Boy: "Dark in here" Man: "Yes it is" Boy: "I have a baseball" Man: "That's nice" Boy: "Want to buy it?" Man: "No thanks" Boy: "My dad's outside" Man: "OK, how much?" Boy: "$250 In the next few weeks it happens again and the boy & mum's lover are in the closet together. Boy: "Dark in here" Man: "Yes it is" Boy: "I have a baseball glove" Man: "How much?" Boy: "$750" Man: "Fine" A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your glove, let's go outside and toss the baseball." The boy says "I can't I sold them." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" The son says "$1000" the father says "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess." They go to the church and the father alerts the priest, and makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and closes the door. The boy says "Dark in here." The priest says "Don't start that shit again." __________________ Thanks Nat tnx Ninja48 FairyTail FC Last edited by deccrix; 14-07-2008 at 07:45 AM.

14-07-2008, 12:21 PM	#20
Victory21 ANBU Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Soul society Posts: 1,682 My Mood: Rep Power: 6	Re: Joke of the day . That was a good one. I didn't expect it to be the priest. __________________ Name: Pluto Rikudou Zanjutsu: 130 Hohou: 125 Kidou: 110 Hakuda: 70 Reiatsu Orb Reiatsu Sword Reiatsu Shield Reiatsu Armor Binding art kidou 1 Binding Art 21: Raiden's Trap Destructive art 4: White Lightning Destructive art 20: Reeling touch Destructive Art 30: Marikodos Chaos Rain *Destructive Art 33:* Blue Fire, Crash Down Multi-strike technique http://www.narutomania.com/forums/so...ml#post2795212 Join the Soul Society role play section pwease I guarantee you'll like it .