[P] Lost Puzzle Pieces

[June Bear]

It's been a while since my last piece. School gets crazy sometimes lol. Tell me what you think any insight would be greatly appreciated again, thanks =]


Lost Puzzle Pieces


My puzzle was a particular character, or characters,
Which ever I prefer at a given time.
It didn’t fit together.
Piece by piece it disappeared,
Lost gradually in a void of randomness.

The pieces of my puzzle are no longer pieces of anything.
Now dull and boring but, interestingly more boring than dull.
Dull is what they never were,
Once intricate dimensions of emotion,
From whence time and space held no meaning.
Love knows not such restrictions don’t you know.

In the moments of construction pieces fit any and everywhere,
Sizes and shapes meant nothing.
The power held within each piece was enough to break convention.
Maybe it was a false power,
Certainly the love could not have been false, folly or anything of the sort.

However, here the pieces sleep, never to be awoken.
Never to be cleverly assorted into the pictures and memories they once were.
Were they anything?

[4thseal]

Really nice stuff from you as usual! The concept and thoughts/emotion here are really powerful and interesting. I really liked how you start with the solid puzzle then show us it's construction or deconstruction as the poem progreses. My critique would be that, while again you present such interesting and captivating concepts in the poem, you lines and flow are a bit off. There are some words that can be ommitted and overall the poem could be made tighter in terms of flow. Though, all in all, I really really like this poem, you really have a great skill for the exploration of time and soul.

[June Bear]

thanks again for the praise and suggestion. I wrote this a few weeks ago but after taking a break from it and reading it again after what you said I see where the flow is off. Also after reading some other poems around the forum I got some ideas but how to improve the flow of my work. I don't know if i want to change this poem cause it's meaning is personal but I'll make sure to pay attention my flow in the next one. Thanks again =]


P.S does anyone know how to change the thread title forgot to put the [P]