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Thread: Short Story Competition #4

  1. #1
    Chaotic Neutral kai0x's Avatar
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    Default Short Story Competition #4


    Rules

    Topic: Freestyle

    Max Length: none

    Content: Please follow forum rules, as well as place your story under an [MA] spoiler if it's too explicit.

    *Only one entry per each member may be entered.

    Submission Deadline: September 21, 2008 @ 11:59pm GMT

    Judges

    Ravi, waqo, kai0x

    You can discuss this competition here:

    Writing Contest Critiques/Discussion


    Some advice, please keep in mind that stories have beginnings middles and ends =).
    Last edited by kai0x; 11-09-2008 at 01:59 AM.




  2. #2

    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    got bored

    P.O.K. FC member
    DearS FC Co-owner

  3. #3
    Chaotic Neutral kai0x's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Haha extension anyone? I know I've been busy, so hopefully everyone else has too xD. I'll give it a few more weeks, since school is starting for people and whatnot. Also I will be a judge.




  4. #4

    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Extention is greatly appreciated. I started my story, but unfortunately had too little time to finish it.

  5. #5
    Devious Devotchka nidaba's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Quote Originally Posted by kai0x View Post
    Haha extension anyone? I know I've been busy, so hopefully everyone else has too xD. I'll give it a few more weeks, since school is starting for people and whatnot. Also I will be a judge.
    Let me know if you would like to enter rather than judge. =] I can judge for you if you would like, or I can probably enter a story.

  6. #6
    Chaotic Neutral kai0x's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Still only one entry =o. Its ok niddy, I will judge. New rule then, contest will end two days after we get three entries.




  7. #7
    Chuunin Kohaka_Serene's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    can i still enter
    F:\Favorites\member2nw.png

  8. #8

    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Quote Originally Posted by Kohaka_Serene View Post
    can i still enter
    Reply to your question is here->

    Quote Originally Posted by kai0x View Post
    Still only one entry =o. Its ok niddy, I will judge. New rule then, contest will end two days after we get three entries.
    We have one entry so there is plenty of room for entries.

  9. #9
    Kazekage
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Quote Originally Posted by nidaba View Post
    Let me know if you would like to enter rather than judge. =] I can judge for you if you would like, or I can probably enter a story.
    Do eet!

    Quote Originally Posted by kai0x View Post
    Still only one entry =o. Its ok niddy, I will judge. New rule then, contest will end two days after we get three entries.
    What about me? D=

    =p

    And yes Kohaku, applications are still open.

  10. #10
    Chuunin sarah042's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Boredom

    In the shade he sits under the tree at the side of the road. The blistering sun scorches the earth on the perimeter but he is shaded for now. Wiping away the small beads of perspiration constantly forming on his brow he exhales slowly. The main road directly in front of him bustles with activity but here in his sheltered crevice he is protected, guarded from the onslaught of activity, from the inherent insanity. Frustrated beings encased in air-conditioned vehicles with their UV tints let out their aggravation at being stopped by another time snatching red light. Parents lose their tempers at little curious souls, while teenagers plot and scheme to avoid other annoying pitfalls that hallmark the progression of civilization. The screech of brakes interrupts his thought as it indicates one of the many stops of public transportation. Twisting his head he contemplates the sight in front of him. A multitude of beings surge forth from the small exit of the extended bus, resigned sighs fills the air as they begin another tiring trip in the endless relay of their lives. They passed him, blinders on, shoulders stooped and their feet near dragging as the sun mercilessly punished them for untold crimes. As the last person passed, he cracked his neck, bunching his legs he pushed against the earth reveling in his ability to do so. As his legs straighten he stretches his rested body feeling the strength returning to his limbs. The cars endlessly parades in front of him but not once did they glance in his direction. He smiles.

    Stuck in traffic again, she could never reach on time if this continued. Glancing at her watch for the millionth time she stifled her frustrated groan. The radio blasted the drone of music while her mother and sister in the front seats talked about their plans for the day. Raising her eyes she looked out the window trying to alleviate her innate boredom and disillusionment, she silently observed the other cars and people entrenched in their own soap operas when she noticed the gently swaying branches of the tree. Her eyes greedily snatched instantaneous snapshots of the calming sight. A slight movement drew her eyes beneath the branches where she made out the silhouette of a man. He stood at peace in the middle of the bustle. Eyes widening she felt in her bag grabbing both a pen and paper. Ink slowly stained the smooth sheet as her fingers guided the nib forming the words “In the shadow he sits….”


    We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
    Oscar Wilde
    Lady Windermere's Fan




  11. #11
    Kazekage
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    I step down from being a judge (You'll do fine on your own Kai), and be a contestant. To help you guys out =p
    So ummm, ya, this 'event' is entirely based on my life, it happened to me this week, and I decided to write about it because of the impact it had. I wrote it for a friend, who was busy atm, and it is a bit 'Collumn-ish'. There's some symbolism in there, but don't dig too deep.



    Semester

    The bristling of Autumn Leaves filled the air as I cycled down the road. A carefree summer wasn’t long behind me, I could tell because the wind in my back was pushing me forwards. Deeply inhaling the scent of a changing season I seemed to forget all the regular smells, the smells of passing cars, noisy busses, the gas station and reeking pavement. Twice a day I manage to push them all back and that is when I momentarily have a clear view and mind.
    That is why I love cycling down that road. If only with a few, the trees manage to press away the madness of the city, for a moment. And I can press on, with my law books in my backpack and a newspaper pressed tightly under my arm. The road is a detour,

    but I don’t mind. The wind in my back makes up for the time spent.
    And when I cycle down that road to the station I pass through a tunnel of branches that shield off most of the sunlight. I pass through it twice every day and it was at that peculiar timing I saw a sight which will stay with me forever. It was everything romantic you could think of, with such finesse only a few would be able to appreciate it fully.
    Approaching me, on one of those electric wheelchairs, was a middle-aged man. He was smiling broadly even though he was incapacitated. But I needn’t wonder why, because he wasn’t alone. On his lap, with a smile like the radiant sun, sat a young and attractive woman. Dressed in business clothes, which suited her very well, she sat on his lap with her arms tightly wrapped around him. Like a bride. He was steering the electric wheelchair as they drove past me,

    estatic. I have to admit I was a bit jealous. Even though I knew nothing of the two. I was jealous of the man. Maybe not of him, but what he stood for. It made me wonder. I had never seen such a controversial sight before. It cursed all the beliefs I had about happiness and, more importantly, unhappiness. I made all these allegations when I didn’t even know anything. I did not know if they were lovers, friends or maybe even hijackers. But all those thoughts were soon waved away by the calmness I had momentarily lost.

    And as I pressed on, pushed by the wind, sheltered by the trees and with my law books and newspaper at hand I smiled to myself and wondered if I was happy.

  12. #12
    skeletons need smokes 4thseal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    I'm going to end this contest, as we have three entries. I'll content Kai0x, if she's busy, i'll judge and beg other people to do so. ^^

  13. #13
    Hunter-nin Insin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    4th: I'm bit busy right now, but if you are willing to extend a day or 3 I will write something tomorrow or Saturday night (whatever one I'm not going out).

  14. #14
    skeletons need smokes 4thseal's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    I'd say sure, but kai said she's working on this, so you'd have to ask her, or wait to see what she says.


    Edit: Kia0x has said extending the deadline to saturday will be fine, so anyone may enter until then.
    Last edited by 4thseal; 24-10-2008 at 03:51 AM.

  15. #15
    Hunter-nin Insin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Here's my entry. I really don't know what the hell it is.

    Last edited by Insin; 25-10-2008 at 12:57 AM.

  16. #16
    Chaotic Neutral kai0x's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    After what seemed like forever the competition is finally over . I want to thank everyone for entering. I wished the stories could have been longer and more detailed, but I understand many people are busy with their lives.

    So I will post the top 2, since there were few entries. I'd like to thank waqo for doing an awesome job judging with me. If anyone would like to know their scores or have feedback plase pm one of us and ask.






  17. #17
    Kazekage
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Insin, congrats bro!,

    and I'll talk to you later about your awfull story =p

  18. #18

    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Congrats Insin and Ravi! And thank you JackCook and sarah042 for participating ^^ Awesome we got 4 entries in the end, so we had good competition.

  19. #19
    Hunter-nin Insin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Short Story Competition #4

    Thanks everyone.

    And Ravi, I guess this gets you back for beating me 1 vs 1 last summer.

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